Life really isn't fair sometimes...

Well, here I am. Christmas having come and gone and now already into a new year. And the new year has started out pretty well. I can't really complain. Well, I guess I will talk about Christmas and how that all went.

Christmas: Well of course we have to get up early and we came out and opened up stockings and then did presents. We loved everything! So thank you family and friends! It was all awesome. Steven had a good time putting up our new TV and we basically spent Christmas in front of it. Which worked out well because its been absolutely freezing out. We didn't do a big Christmas dinner or anything, but that was okay because it was just the two of us. It was great to have a day off from work. Spending the day with Steven was the biggest highlight for me.

New Years: New years! Oh how fun! Well, we did stay up. It was tough, but we did it. We watched James Bond and then played a little Animal Crossing. I think that its best to stay in on that particular night of the year. Cause that tends to be when all the crazies go out.

Since then nothing too eventful has happened. As far as all of the crap that I feel like has been going on at work, I have decided that it is a new year and I need to just let it go. Which is what I have been trying my best to do. Just let it go and put it all behind me. On the other hand, I am frustrated and sad. I don't understand why I am not able to get pregnant. I have been trying not to think about it again, and can't seem to get over it. I am also very homesick. I have talked with my mom and I am trying to get her to fly out here. I miss her very much. Its hard for me to understand why Steven and I are having such problems with this. I hate the fact that it seems to be so easy for other people, and yet here we are. We are loving and good people. And I don't understand why we are not being able to start our family. I know that it bothers Steven too he is just much better at keeping it in than I am. I have been trying very hard not to be negative or anything. I guess what really set me off about this whole thing again was when I read a story in the news about this family. It was about this family that was sitting home one night and the husband and wife were sitting in their bedroom with their nine month old daughter, and then the husband shot the wife, then himself. Then their eight year old son came into the room and saw everything and went next door to get their neighbor. I mean really!! Why on earth should those people be so lucky to have kids and then waste that time like that? I just don't understand. And I feel so bad for those kids. Steven and I have so much love to offer.... I know it will happen one day. I am just getting impatient.