Just thinking

I haven't blogged again for quite a while but I have been having some random thoughts and I thought that this would be a good place to express them. :)

So, pregnancy. Everything is still going well. I am 29 weeks. As the time starts to come closer some days I worry myself into a frenzy about how much its going to hurt, if she will be okay, and many other thoughts. But then I have other days when I am just fine, excited to meet this little girl! A couple of weeks ago we enrolled to go to a lamaze class. It was a two day class, held at Altru. I had no idea what to expect. I thought that we might go through breathing techniques and that was all I knew. Well, the first night we got there and the teacher started talking about pre labor and getting ready and the risks and all that fun stuff. What I really struggled with was when we watched the video. It was a video with three different couples on it giving birth three different ways. To be honest, I think Steven handled it better than me. I was completely freaked out by what I saw. As we left the class that night, I was a mess. I called my Mom and talked to her and she was a help in calming me down. By the next day I was fine. And then we had class again. We watched another video this time about getting an epidural. Now, I am leaning toward this way, because I am such a baby when it comes to pain and I honestly don't know how much I can handle. On the other hand, part of me wants to see what I can do, how much I can handle. In the second class we talked about labor and what actually happens. I wasn't as freaked out, but it still made me uncomfortable with the whole thing. However, my favorite part of the entire class was at the end when the teacher brought out a baby suite for the daddy's to try on. It was awesome. Unfortunetly, Steven would not let me take a picture. I will just say though, it always brings a smile to my face when I think about it. Over the next few days I kept trying to help myself understand that millions of women do this everyday. Like I said, I have my days where I think I am ready and others when not so much. A couple of weeks ago I also had my gestational diabites appointment. Got to go in and drink a can of orange crush, in 5 min. Well, I had it done in 6 so close enough! :) I got my results back, and my levels came back perfect! The only thing is that my iron is a little low. So they have asked me to start taking a supplement. On a more fun note, this little girl is a very active one. She is constantly moving. I think Steven is becoming more anxious to meet her. He will listen to her often, and his face always lights up. I just love it. I am to the point where I am going to the doctor every two weeks. Today I had an appointment. Dr. Brown measured me and said that according to my body I am 30 weeks but I am still going to go with 29. I had talked with him about inducing because we are moving right after she comes. He said he would induce me the day after I was due if I hadn't had her yet. But then today he told me that he would be willing to induce me as early as 39 weeks. I told him that I was fine to wait. I am due July 14th and he said that maybe on the 12th we could see what was going on and make a decision then. Sounds good to me. I love that he is so willing to help with our situatuon. Everytime I go to these appointments, Steven and I both get the impression that he thinks that I am going to be early. Well, we shall see. He also said that my due date is perfect timiming because the week before I am due he is going to be traveling in Greece! He said he would be back... so I hope so! From what I have heard about babies cooperating... she will probably come when he is gone! I have had some swelling in my lower legs and ankles. It seems to only get swollen when its really warm. So it hasn't happened too often. Total gained weight for the pregnancy is 13 pounds. So I hope I can continue to keep it within certain limits. My customers at work are finally starting to notice that I am pregnant and not just 'fat'. Although lately I have been getting coments asking me if I am due any day because I am so big! I didn't think I was that big. I will have to post a picture soon and see what you guys think... The newest fun thing is that sometimes I can tell where she is. I think I can feel an arm sometimes, I swear! There was one night last week when I could not get in a comfortable position. It was a little hard to breathe. Its still fun though. As for being freaked out about everything, its getting better. I know that I am going to be alright. I just need to breathe and focus on meeting my daughter!

Steven is graduating in 17 days!!! Just over two weeks. Its so crazy. He has been feeling a little stressed out with some classes this last semester. Its hard for me to see him stressed because he is always so calm and I don't know how to make it better for him. I just have to brag for a moment about my amazing husband. He wanted to go into air traffic control all the way out in Grand Forks, ND. He took that step and he did it so well! He is such a good student. I am always impressed. I never see him studying, he tells me that he does it when I'm not home so that we can hang out when I am home. (So sweet!) He talks to me about school and says how something is coming up but he doesn't get stressed. He just deals with it. I am so proud of him. I'm sure there are times when we have both wondering if schooling would ever come to an end. He goes to school full time and works part time and deals with me the rest of the time! He is just amazing and I am truly blessed to have him in my life. Did I mention he can fly a plane!?! Now really, how cool is that?

Moving. This is the other topic that has got me happy/sad depending on my mood. I am so excited to be moving back home, to be near family and begin the next chapter in our lives. However, I am so sad to be leaving here. Grand Forks has truly become my home. The people here have become family to me. Wow, even as I am typing this I am getting teary eyed! Must be those pregnancy hormones kicking in... Our Ward is amazing. When we are moving I just want to pack them all up and bring them with us. I know that we will be back someday. Number one reason, Steven graduated here. Number two, our daughter will be born here. We for sure have roots and reasons to come back. I think that I am also not good with change, but this has been our home for so long, that it is scary to think about leaving. I am also worried about the cost of moving, how it will go with a baby, and just everything. We have one room that is full of boxes. Steven has been collecting them for a while now so that we won't have to purchase any. Smart man! But everytime I look at them I get sad. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been a better idea to move in May instead of waiting for her to come in July. I'm sure we are making the right choice. It will all work out. I am very excited to be close to family. That is something that I have missed being out here.

Work. I was telling Steven today, I don't know what I am going to do with myself when I am not working. I have always worked. Its going to be different to not be working. He just laughs and tells me that I will have a job, a full time Mom! I love that idea, but its forgien to me. Hopefully we will be able to work it out so I have the chance to be a stay at home Mom. Thats the plan anway. We shall see how it goes. I hope that Steven is able to get an air traffic control job soon after he graduates. It can be quite the process, and I hope that he is able to get through it quickly.

Well, those are just a few of my thoughts tonight. If you made it through all this way, good job. I did a lot of writting! :) Until next time...